My waters broken but labour did not start. I wanted to stay home and let is start on its own. I received phone calls harassing me to come. They pushed and pushed for induction but I refused. I came in as the phone calls worried my husband. ( unfortunately this part I have anger towards him and have not forgiven him). My instincts were to wait. He knew I didn’t want to but he was scared for me and baby.
When I finally went to Women’s Assessment, they examined my pad and requested a swab because there wasn’t enough fluid. I wasn’t informed that the swab could increase infection risk. If I had known, I would have declined. This lack of consent left me anxious and vulnerable.
Even though baby and I were fine, I felt pressured to stay in hospital. I was placed on antibiotics. When I asked if these could harm the baby, I was told, “I don’t believe so.” That vague reassurance did nothing to ease my worry. I spent the night crying on the ward, feeling mentally unwell and alone. I was never unwell and baby was fine. What’s more upsetting is I have now been reading the prenatal practice guidelines which say if GBS negative offer to stay or go home and monitor checking temp every 4 hrs. This was never offered to me. See Perinatal Practice Guidelines | SA Health
Following Morning – Antenatal Doctors’ Visit
Two doctors came to speak with me. I was exhausted, emotional, and not in the right state to make major decisions. Yet they again pressured me into induction, ignoring my previously stated wishes and my midwife’s knowledge of my preferences. I felt cornered and powerless.
Throughout my pregnancy, I had never been properly informed of induction risks — not by any of the five doctors I saw, nor by midwives. It was frustrating and frightening to be asked to make decisions without being given the information I needed.
8am - midwife comes instructs me to come with her to be induced. Promises me she just give me a low dose it will be fine. I trusted her but I wish I didn’t go. I wish I went home.
9:00 AM, 19 February 2025 – Labour Begins: Artificial Rupture of Membranes (AROM) and Syntocinon Drip
Before Labour started the midwife used an AROM before the drip. It was terrifying. No one warned me it could be so painful, it was so intensely painful I wanted to cry. I was also not informed about the fact that it intensifies contractions, and increased infection risk. And can cause prolapse along with other issues. I wasn’t properly asked for consent. There was no informed consent. I never want to see another AROM in my life — it will be a trigger for me.
Later, we were moved from the delivery suite to another room without explanation. I was placed on a syntocinon drip, assured it would be “light.” I watched the dose steadily increase, and the pain became unbearable. Contractions came without pause. I begged for the drip to be turned down and was told, “It’s your body doing this now, not the drip.”
I tried to use the bath for relief, but being exposed with so many people around made me uncomfortable. The midwife tried to insert a monitor vaginally; it fell out twice. I realised I wasn’t told that an induction would mean continuous monitoring. The midwife keep doing vaginal exams but never once did she ask for permission
As the contractions worsened Gas didn’t help — the contractions were relentless, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I felt I neeed to go toilet to pee but just couldn’t. I was struggling contractions were not like waves there was no come down no break. I begged for a break but again it’s your body doing this. I now know I was being lied to. I requested and paid for a copy of my birth notes. Even though the midwives said it’s your body now. They were lying the oxytocin was not turned off until I was given the epidural. To read that it broke my heart. Those words “it’s your body now” made me feel like my body was failing me and causing me all this pain but really it was them. How could they do that to me? What horrible people. You’re supposed to be people that help people, that care, that keep you safe. I will never forgot this, never!
I begged for more pain relief. By this point, I had lost control and was screaming. I requested an epidural — something I never wanted. Once it was administered, I finally calmed. I was checked and ready to push, but the midwife made me rest first. Again I was never asked consent for vaginal exams. And a so lay there unable to move she continued to do vaginal exams but never but once was I ever ask for consent I lay there for an hour, covered only by a sheet, with people coming in and out. Privacy was nonexistent, and I felt unsafe. I never knew that in regards to Prom vaginal exams double the risk of infection. They never asked for permission to do vaginal exams. And when I had the epidural they continued to do these as I couldn’t move and agin no one asked for my consent. . Also didn’t know that magical exams are unessisary as they don’t predict anything. But they do provide Discomfort or pain. Infection risk after water breaks. Mental pressure (only 2 cm"). Unnecessary discouragement. Real progress looks like:
• Contraction pattern
• Movement and sound
• Behavioral changes
• Descent and rotation
The body shows labor, without numbers. This I know now.
The oxytocin drip was increased without discussion, and antibiotics had continued to be given — nothing was ever fully explained. Despite the epidural working, I could still feel mild contractions. I pushed and pushed. Both my midwives held my legs, never once’s asked permission just manipulated my body as they wished. My baby’s head was finally born. My heart rate dropped with each push, prompting a doctor to enter. Midwives shouted, “A baby is being born here!”
11:03 PM – Baby’s Birth
As I pushed, a doctor entered the room. My husband and I instinctively looked, and we missed the first moment our son was lifted. It was deeply upsetting. I don’t understand why doors weren’t closed to a point that prevents something like this from happening
Post-Birth – Stitches and Privacy Concerns
I experienced tearing 2 tear and requested a female doctor for stitches. I was never told i could request not to be stitched. I am a child of trauma and did not want a male doctor present. Eventually, a female doctor attended, and I was grateful. My legs were placed in stirrups, facing the windows, lights on, reflection on the procedure in the window. I was fully exposed. Multiple staff came in and out even walking behind the dr stitching me during the procedure. It was humiliating, and privacy was completely disregarded.
At night, the blinds were not closed. My husband could see the reflection of the procedure in the window. I was very upset by this lack of privacy.
Reflections and Emotional Aftermath
Throughout my pregnancy and birth, I often felt treated more like a vessel than a person. Doctors and medical professionals pushed interventions without explaining risks or benefits, disregarded my autonomy, coerced me and failed to provide dignity and respect. Not to mention lied to me.
I experienced discrimination, especially regarding my age. The use of terms like “AMA” and similar “GP” classifications is discriminatory. They pathologise women for a natural biological state that already has a name: pregnancy. The routine use of AMA and GP risk terminology represents a subtle form of discrimination, medicalising and diminishing women for a natural physiological process that already has a clear and accurate name—pregnancy. There is no clinical necessity for ageist labels.The use of age-based terminology reflects provider bias, not patient risk. It says far more about provider attitudes than about the pregnant person. Age alone is not evidence for induction. There is no strong evidence that supports age as a factor to induce. But it does seem to be based on ageist and unfunded assumptions. Most research studies on age are of small groups and it does not separate IVF, and health issues of the mother. Therefore, the evidence is floored in many ways and is not good evidence to induce.

This experience has left me traumatised. I felt mentally unwell, cried alone for days , and was overwhelmed by pressure to accept interventions I had firmly refused. If I were ever to become pregnant again, I would be too fearful to notify the hospital when my waters broke and I’m not sure I could even bring myself to the hospital ever again— a terrifying outcome.
Birth was done to me, not with me. The joy of welcoming my baby was replaced with terror, uncertainty, lack of privacy, and lack of control. No woman should have to recover from birth trauma.
When birth leaves us traumatised, we are told, “All that matters is a healthy baby.”
But physical health is not the only kind of health that matters — and it cannot exist without mental wellbeing.
Telling a traumatised woman to “just be grateful” is dismissive and harmful.
My first birth was traumatic because my rights were disregarded.
I was lied to, abused, neglected, and treated as a vessel instead of a human being — within a system that routinely ignores instinct, disrespects autonomy, and pushes women into submission.
There is no amount of “positive thinking” that can protect women from forced or coerced care.
That birth left deep emotional scars. Scars that never go away. I have now learnt not to trust maternal health professionals as they never cared or protected me from harm. I haven’t even seen my GP. At my six week check I only had my baby checked never me as the fear of medical professionals stays with me. When I take my baby to the GP I try my hardest not to tense up and try to keep my distance from drs so my baby doesn’t learn to fear drs. But the truth is I’m traumatised and I no longer trust our medical professionals.