On July 3rd I presented to MBPH Maternity Ward for a scheduled induction at 41+3. Upon examination I was 3cm dilated, and having mild contractions so the induction did not proceed. I was asked to go home however my contractions began to intensify, and I was ‘allowed’ to stay and enter the birth suite. As the contractions set in more regularly, my birth supports (5 x family members and my partner) arrived. I was told that I must have continuous CTG (with wires attached), which required me to lay in certain position on the bed to get a ‘good reading. During my 12-hour labour at the hospital, I asked for food but was not provided with any. My partner purchased some M&M’s candy from a vending machine and fed them to me along with ice chips. I was expected to remain on the bed for monitoring except for brief toilet breaks where I was allowed to be mobile. The midwife insisted on supervising me during all toilet breaks in case baby was born. I also had a cannula in – I am still unsure why as this was not explained. Being on my back, propped up in bed was painful but I was not aware at the time that I could decline being monitored. I was not allowed to use the bath or shower for pain relief. Towards the end of labour, I was provided with a bean bag (still on the bed) to try other positions. I used my own TENS machine and requested gas for pain relief. I was having intense back pain and was told my baby was posterior. My waters broke and were meconium stained. The monitor detected some foetal distress towards the end of the labour. I jumped off the bed and began squatting – instinct took over; however, I was so weak after a long labour I could not squat unassisted. The midwife yelled at me to get back on the bed! I sat up on the bed again and reclined on a bean bag. Suddenly and forcefully the same nurse grabbed the bean bag and threw it to the side of the room. I was flat on my back now and had two midwives and a doctor in the room– one midwife each leg, and I was coached to push. I felt excruciating pain and a nurse used a warm compress on my vagina however baby did not gently or naturally ‘crown’ because I was being urgently coached to intensely push while laying on my back. My baby ‘popped out’ very quickly causing severe 2nd and 3rd degree internal tearing and external grazes. I have holes in my labia to this day! After baby was birthed, she was blue/purple and limp, the cord was cut quickly, and she was transferred to the trolley immediately for breaths. She had swallowed meconium. Meanwhile, my body went into shock, and I was shaking a lot, and I genuinely thought I was going to die. I was given an injection in my thigh without anyone really explaining what this was for, other than ‘this will help prevent blood loss’. I birthed the placenta and was still in a lot of pain from the tearing. I had student doctors watch and assist with the suturing (again without consent or explanation). I had a nurse insert medication into my anus. I did not get to hold my baby until after all this had occurred – maybe up to an hour later. Finally, after all my support people had held and met my baby - she was passed to me, and she quickly latched for her first breastfeed. Over the next 24 hours I realised I had lost bladder function, and I was unable to empty my bladder at all. I had a student midwife/nurse attempt to insert a catheter without any pain relief– this was excruciating and a second attempt had to be made by another midwife. I had a catheter in for 1-2 days until I was again able to use my bladder – thankfully I have no long-term impairment. I was discharged on day 3 only after I been supervised to bath my baby, had my car seat checked over and an unwelcome visit form the social worker to ensure I was a ‘safe parent’, given my young age. Beyond the domiciliary midwife visit I was not given any follow up care or recommendations. Weeks later I sought estrogen tablets from my OB/GYN due to intense dryness and discomfort – these were inserted vaginally to help me recover from the birth trauma. I felt very proud that I had been able to have a vaginal birth and avoid an induction, but I did experience PTSD like symptoms from the birth and ended up with severe post-natal depression.