The biggest realisation I've had post birth is that choosing the right care provider who is attuned to each woman is so important. My private midwife was the best option available at the time, but upon reflection I never found her to be reliable; therefore, I didn't feel safe or have 100% trust in her. This lack of connection between the two of us impacted my labour and led to delayed delivery, risk of infection, IV antibiotics after hospital transfer (5 nights in special care nursery) and most importantly, I left my birth feeling incompetent and not capable of being a mother. I went into my labour feeling empowered, ready, excited and on the other side felt destroyed.